Some Brief Thoughts on Silence
“Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.” - Publius Syrus
Silence is a universal concept around the globe. You don’t need to speak the language to recognize it. In business or life silence can be used in many different ways. Here’s a couple to consider, and how you can make use of them.
Silence gives Consent – No!
Be careful of those who use this or some variation of it. At its heart it means if you don’t speak up, you agree to whatever was proposed. I have seen a consultant use this approach to lead entire roomfuls of people down a path simply by giving people very little if any time to consider what he put forth. He would make a statement and then ask a question about whether everyone understood the concept, followed quickly by the statement “Silence means agreement”. He would then sweep the room along toward the pre-determined outcome.
Even if you don’t hear the phrase, be careful not to be swept along into assumed consent. We’ve all experienced someone saying “Everyone was at the meeting, but no one said anything or objected so we assumed everything was fine.” Always state your concern that people may need a little time to digest and ponder over any ideas delivered cold at a meeting.
Silence is Golden – Yes!
This is very true when asking others questions. One must give the person a chance to think about the question and then respond. Then, with a little more silence to fill the void, the person will continue to answer. Studies have shown that answers to questions get more detailed and more accurate on the second or even third response after the questioner continues to remain quiet.
You see the problem though. Most of us have trouble with silence in conversations and want to fill it with the noise of our own voice. By doing so we starve off the richly detailed answers we came looking for while at the same time perhaps frustrating the person with whom we’re talking.
Don’t be silent. Tell me what you think.
2 comments June 1st, 2007
